i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
