I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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