hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
