The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
