We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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