I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
