if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
