Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
