Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
