Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
