Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
