nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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