; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she was so not down for the gang bang
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
