please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
