Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
