do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
