The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
soo... how was my night?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
