He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
