oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
