Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
