We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
