Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I got her a Nickelback box set.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
