right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
