thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
