As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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