Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
