just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
