i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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