he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
