I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize