Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
