just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
