What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
