I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize