Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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