Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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