the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize