dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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