You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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