filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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