she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
