I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She bit a glass in half.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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