Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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