he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
