he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
