Welp...herpes.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
