My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
