I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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