She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
