I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
