Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
