Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
