just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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