I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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