i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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