At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
