People in love make me want to vomit
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
where are my eyebrows?
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