I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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