It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I understand Curling. That high.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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