WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
