whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
