Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
