She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
