she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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