he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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