Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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