oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
